Journey of resistance pt 2

Posted by on 05/03/2017

If we really listen, we all have all the answers within, but it can be a very finely skilled art to master because we have so many patterns and props that sit as obstacles to us and they try to stop us from really listening and reaching a connection with our intuition. Even when we think we are following it, even when we think we are truly hearing it, sometimes we can fool ourselves with what we think we are hearing. we can hear what we want to hear and often this is our get-out from needing to make any - Read More

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Journey of resistance Pt 1

Posted by on 05/03/2017

Sometimes its because of the resistance to the emotional stuff which we carry around that things take so long to work through. For example, there can be an imbalance of how we like to communicate emotionally, so each others ways might not suit both partners. Initially, the resistance can come from one side but then after a while, because of the reception/responses they get, the other side side might become resistant to sharing so much too. Things can then become long and arduous to work through; different ways for different people. In those moments it can feel wobbly and like - Read More

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Forgiveness

Posted by on 29/05/2015

When you hold grudges it can take up your brain capacity and prevent you from performing at your very best. Whatever you focus your mind on will grow, and this is very true of hatred.
It becomes very hard to achieve calm, peace, and good things for yourself when you have a lot of your thoughts tied up with negativity.

If you can try to forgive you will find that it is primarily for you. Forgiving can free up your energy so work on forgiving all grudges, no matter how old they are.
Try to make reconciliation and If you find - Read More

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Yourself

Posted by on 28/04/2015

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken – Oscar Wilde.

A phrase that is possibly most commonly used in the history of advice; It’s such a vague adage. It’s a basic summation of the truth. I don’t believe it really is as easy as it sounds; you can’t be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself first. It It should be your primary goal to find this out.

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Fight or flight

Posted by on 03/04/2015

Our normal biological reaction when we feel threatened is ‘fight or flight’. Anxiety is related to this and is what gives us the unpleasant feelings of fear and unease that we have when we are worried or nervous about something. We all know what it’s like to feel anxious from time to time. It’s common to feel tense, nervous and perhaps fearful at the thought of a stressful event or decision you’re facing – especially if it could have a big impact on your life.
In stressful situations you might even find it hard to sleep, eat or concentrate. Then - Read More

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Whatever comes next.

Posted by on 03/04/2015

Sometimes the darkest times can bring you to the brightest places. Your most painful struggles can often give you the most necessary growth and the most heartbreaking losses can make room for the most wonderful people.

What seems like a curse at the moment can become a blessing, and that what seems like the end of the road can be the  discovery that you are meant to travel down a different path. No matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope.

No matter how powerless you feel or how horrible things seem, don’t give up; keep going. Even when it’s scary, - Read More

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Your walk through life

Posted by on 28/03/2015

 Try not to undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. We are all different and that is what makes each of us special.

Try not set your goals by what other people think is important.  You know what is best for you, so listen to yourself.

Instead of living in the past and having regrets, try to live in each moment and you will really live out every single day of your life.

Take chances; do not be afraid to take risks, this is how we learn how to be brave.

Try not to shut love out of your life and never say - Read More

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Death is a world fear.

Posted by on 14/03/2015

Most people fear death at some point in their lives. I did. As I entered into my teens until well into my twenties I not only worried that I had every illness going but I also fretted that certain members of my family would die. These were usually my caregivers; mother, aunt, and eldest sister so I guess this was more of a fear of abandonement than of their death.  Although we are aware that we are not immortal we have a universal fear about dying. Some doctors and psychologists will put this down to an axiety disorder, but is - Read More

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This place …

Posted by on 09/03/2015

This place you are at …..
You’re going to be okay. You may have been in this place before and you’ve probably felt this uncomfortable, anxious and scared before. Remember how you survived, and you will survive again. I promise.
These feelings won’t can’t break you; they can’t break you. Yes, they’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass.
Breathe deep and remember, you will survive. I promise.

It might feel unbearable right now and maybe these feelings will not leave you immediately, but sometime soon they are going to fade. I know they - Read More

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Where I’m at …..

Posted by on 05/03/2015

I’m at a point in my life where I do not want to waste any time with what displeases or hurts me. I will not argue; I’m happy for the perpetrator to win. I have no patience for cynicism, criticism and demands; this has had consequences for me and is very damaging to say the least. I try not to spend longer than a minute on those who lie or want to manipulate and I do not to co-exist with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty or cheap praise. I will not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance; this gets on my wick. - Read More

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Irrational thoughts.

Posted by on 01/03/2015

“There is no difficulty you cannot overcome”. When I say this, I can hear a lot of you saying “what”? “How can this be true”? But it is. As some of my clients will know, I’m not in favour of the words ‘negative’ & ‘positive’; I feel that they come with expectations so I choose to say we have rational/irrational thinking.  An effective method for rational thinking is to eliminate certain expressions of thought and speech which are irrational.  These thoughts can clutter up a person’s conversation, and while each can be seemingly unimportant in itself, the total effect is - Read More

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Lifes stresses

Posted by on 27/02/2015

The bulk of our suffering doesn’t derive from external events, such as wars or lost relationships and abandonments ic comes from our delusional desire to avoid life’s inevitable emotional discomforts.

We crave an escape route from difficult feelings and moods. We all work from the same universal, basic emotional palette: anger, fear, sadness, happiness, disgust, contempt, surprise.

Negative emotions are as essential as the positive.

Many of us are trained, in the formative years of childhood, that some of these inevitable emotional states aren’t particularly safe to express, such as sadness and anger and they must be avoided at all costs.

When emotions are - Read More

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A short quote

Posted by on 07/04/2014

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
― Albert Camus

 

Jan Diaz Penfold Pgdip – Counsellor.

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Aspergers Syndrome

Posted by on 07/04/2014

Aspergers Syndrome is a form of autism which makes it hard to read signals from others; signals that many people understand without a second thought. This can include facial expressions, tone of voice, and general social conventions.

This makes it difficult for those with Aspergers to communicate and interact with others, leading to anxiety, confusion and frustration.

Those with Aspergers also struggle with unpredictable situations, they like structure in their life, which may also be reflected in their actions, such as a need to have things arranged in a certain order. This is a lifelong condition, and there is not a cure. - Read More

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Relationship ending.

Posted by on 07/04/2014

When a relationship comes to an end it can be difficult to deal with the feelings that overtake you. Maybe you have known the end is coming with issues and situations building up over a period of time and yet, when the reality hits it can take the wind from your sails. It is important to realise that no matter how the relationship broke down, whether you brought the relationship to an end or not, you will still go through a process about loss. The emotional pressure on those involved is huge. One of the things that a Counsellor will - Read More

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Today – any day.

Posted by on 07/04/2014

How are you feeling?

Did you wake up this morning wondering what it’s all about?

Do you want to do something but an inner voice is telling you that you’re not good enough?

Don’t let anyone judge you; you are unique. There is no-one like you. You have a purpose. You just need to trust the process and begin to live your life.

You can do what you want as you have the choice.

 

Jan Diaz Penfold Pgdip – Counsellor

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Love quip

Posted by on 07/04/2014

Love is not a permanent condition. Love is created, given, and shared and is also withdrawn and withheld at any time and even in a moments notice.

 

Jan Diaz Penfold Pgdip – Counsellor

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Relationship quip.

Posted by on 07/04/2014

Whether your relationship is with a partner, a friend, or a family member, you are not going to promise to each other that you will not disappoint one another because at some point you will. We all have different ways of thinking and behaving; this is what makes us tick. You will both sometimes find yourselves getting angry or frustrated with each other because you don’t see things the same way but what is important is that you don’t go away, you don’t escape, you don’t leave one another. Being disappointed is a fact of life and not an excuse - Read More

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Keeping it current.

Posted by on 19/02/2014

Online counselling is becoming increasingly popular as modern technology gets set to take over the traditional methods of face to face therapy. This has huge advantages for many people such as those that are housebound or want last minute therapy for certain occassions. For some people online therapy offers timely help beyond the limitations of traditional office hours. One bride had an online session from her laptop an hour before her wedding. A businessman had an online session to help him with his fear of flying in the lounge of an airport. Many parents of children and teens with emotional - Read More

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